within the hurt and the pain
a cleanse arises
a willingness to grow
to change
to adapt
to start anew

after every tragedy, a revival ignites
pushing us forward
a silent voice, our guide

funny, isn't it
how you can be there for someone
anytime, any second of the day
but if you don't reach out to them
they disappear
which begs the question
what was I to you?
someone to give you good advice
someone to listen
someone that lets you take take take
with no give
funny isn't that
how looking back, I see it
and yet here i am
missing you
letting go was the hardest thing I had to do
and here I am, writing of you
thinking of you
so I guess I haven't really let go
more just put the blame on you
its not your fault, how much I love you

I still remember the little things
the things you thought I'd forget
don't remember the fights as much
just remember the what came next
All the sweet nothings, you thought I'd regret

As time goes on, they become clearer
Just a cloud of love and lies
The little things that seem much nearer
The big arguments, tossed aside
Because, at the end of the day
The little things are what really matter
All these little moments that add up to something bigger
When I think of you, every little doubt
Every little questionable decision
Came true
Came through, came near to you
You took my trust, over looked it throughly
These little things, you thought I'd forget

eyes

what did you see in me
that wasn't enough
or, rather
what didn't you see

I pray it's just the adolescence
this feeling of
sinking
falling

I know my flaws
I think that's the worst part
Is I can see them
I can feel the anger taking over- embedded in my talk

I wish these flaws were physical
Something to fix with concealer, or a detox

These are something internally insightful
They are gruesome
And come with a heavy cost

I despise my hot head
My quickness to react
As if I want to catch him in the act

My general want for conflict, always brewing
Waiting to be poured, piping hot

I know my self views are morbid
Been rubbed raw from the start
So I'll stay stubborn, stay encoded
This constant line of defense- it's really an art

You know when they say
"That doesn't quite add up."
Like a sugar coated deny
"How can I say this...not so abrupt?"

That sensitivity is a blessing
us that lack it should know
Imagine spending your whole life wondering
"Yikes, was that super fucked up?"

some say bluntness is a tool
used for business, or trades alike
i find it rather exciting
to narrate, uncensored, this otherwise dull life